1. Sarah Palin goes to work for Fox News.
2. Mark McGwire admits that he used steroids.
3. "Jersey Shore" cast member gets in fistfight with (fill in the blank).
4. Mariah Carey says something really, really incoherent.
5. Rod Blagojevich says something really, really stupid.
6. "Jay Leno Show" a colossal flop.
7. Sun rises in east, sets in west.
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