Tuesday Bluesday

Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week. By far.

Monday isn't so bad, really. No, I don't like being back at work, but my body hasn't quite figured out that the weekend has concluded and, thus, I move about in a fairly zombie-like state for the better part of the day.

Wednesday is Hump Day. No, I don't mean it's the day for humping; get your mind out of the damn gutter before I join you down there. (Although, on second thought, if humping is what you need to do to get you through your day...well, then, don't let me stop you.) But that Wednesday is the day we go "over the hump" and head on down the Slip-N-Slide toward the upcoming weekend.

Thursday? Well, it's almost Friday, now isn't it?

And Friday is...well, Friday. End of the week. Pass "Go." Collect $200. Repeat if necessary.

But Tuesday? Tuesday. Just. Sucks. Think about it. It's a day past Monday, so my body has now awakened to the fact that the weekend has, in fact, ended, and is screaming, in every language that it knows, "Dear fucking Jesus! How did that happen? I can't be back here at work! No! For the love of God, Montresor!" (Oops. Sorry 'bout the Poe reference. My inner English major must have rolled over and hit the snooze alarm or something. I'll try not to let that happen again--not today, anyway.)

And the following weekend is still too far in the future to properly contemplate. Well, okay, you can contemplate it if you wish, but come on: it's fucking Tuesday. Thinking about the weekend now will just depress you even more than being at work on a Tuesday already has.

And the weirdest shit always goes down on Tuesdays. I've seen plenty of friends get fired on Tuesdays. My dad had his bypass surgery on a Tuesday (he died the following Friday). And September 11? Yep. A Tuesday.

Is there a point nestled in all this talk of Tuesdays? Not really. Am I just taking up space (and, consequently, your valuable time) with all this talk of Tuesdays because I didn't really have the time or brain capacity to write anything more meaningful this week? You bet. And do I have anything at all nice to say about Tuesdays? Anything at all? WellÉdon't the new videos and DVDs come out on Tuesdays? That's a nice thing, right? Right?

(Insert sound of crickets chirping here.)

Okay. So that's not enough to keep Tuesdays from sucking. Then again...doesn't Tomato Nation get updated every Tuesday? Or just about, anyway? That's a good thing, to be sure...a great thing, even...guess Tuesdays aren't a total sinkhole of suck after all.

Nah. Tuesdays still Hoover major ass. Just not as much as I thought.

At least once Tuesday is over, the rest of the week is better. But sooner or later ("sooner" seeming to be the more constant of the two), the next Tuesday rolls around. Then we do what we have no choice but to do: Tuck our heads down, plow forward and deal.

Or we could just stay home and play with our cats.

Whatever works.