This morning, while I was brushing my teeth, I felt a distinct stabbing sensation all over the inside of my mouth. I pulled out the brush to find that a crack had sprung up about midway through the head and, with the slightest fan of my thumb, the bristles flew in all directions--the toothbrush had exploded in my mouth. As I now had a tongueful of these same bristles, I spat out what I could and rinsed away the rest as best I could with liberal amounts of Target mouthwash.
The night before, I'd made sandwiches to take to work--because I'm over here and payday is over there--and secured both the sandwiches and the bread I made them with in the refrigerator. This morning, after the toothbrush trauma, I grabbed the first bag my hand landed on in the fridge and slid my way to the train station through the remnants of the first real sticking snow of the season. When I arrived at work, I beelined straight for the industrial refrigerator adjacent to my company's spacious lunch area. However, when I pulled the bag out, I realized it was larger and heavier than it should have been--I'd grabbed the loaf of bread instead.
Can I go home now?
5 comments:
Yes you may.
*runs for door before anyone can catch him*
um. your toothbrush is not a jackhammer.
I wasn't brushing that hard.
I beg to differ mister "my toothbrush exploded in my mouth..."
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