When I heard that Tim Burton and Johnny Depp were dragging Dark Shadows out of the development hell it had lingered in for years (ever since the short-lived prime-time revival back in the 1990s, really), I winced. Burton has become the retread king of Hollywood, helming remakes like Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice in Wonderland and Sweeney Todd (technically not a remake, but an adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's stage musical, which had two highly successful TV versions, both starring George Hearn as the Demon Barber of Fleet Street), all but one of which starred Depp.
Now we have this big-screen adaptation of the 1966-1971 gothic soap opera, and the trailer starts off like a straight adaptation, with Depp as Barnabas Collins, who loves Josette (Bella Heathcoate) and spurns the advances of Angelique (the lovely Eva Green). Unfortunately for Barnabas, Angelique is a witch, and she curses him to be a vampire. He is then buried for 200 years before being dug up and turned loose on modern-day New England. (The role was originally played by Jonathan Frid, who made a small cameo in this film before passing away a few weeks ago at the age of 87.)
This early part of the trailer looks wonderful (as, I must admit, all Tim Burton movies do) and, more importantly, serious. Depp's cry to Green of "What have you done?" as blood trails from his fingers and eyes is genuinely chilling, and the whole thing looks like an epic monster movie worth lining up for.
Once Barnabas wakes up, though, the trailer quickly shifts from gothic to gag, with the action focusing on slapstick, labored "This modern world is really weird" comedy and done-to-death '70s jokes (lava lamps! disco balls!), shoving the horror elements way to the margins or playing them strictly for (presumed) laughs.
I'll read the reviews, of course, but it'll take a lot to convince me to buy even a matinee ticket to this.
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